“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping”

During spring break this year, I went to visit my wonderful friends in Oregon and Washington. I spent a lot of time with my neices and nephew up there. I had so much fun. I enjoyed sitting around catching up and playing games with my friends. And I love that my friends feel like they can talk to me about anything. True friends are amazing. But that is a post for another day. I could write all day about how amazing my friends are. While, I was up there I was inspired (a word I find myself using a lot today). One of my friends, I have always considered to be prettier and skinnier than me (skinnier is a fact, prettier an opinion). She is skinny. She has had two kids and looks AMAZING! Anyways, she was talking to me about wanting to lose weight. Don't judge everyone has goals and struggles, even skinny people. But when someone who is skinnier than you and healthier than you is talking about wanting to do better, it just hit me. For the first time, I wanted to lose weight for real. I have tried before, but my heart wasn't in it. I was doing because I am fat and I am supposed to want to lose weight, not because I actually wanted to lose weight. So, I thought about how to go about doing it and before I was on my plane ride home I had decided I would join Weight Watchers. I liked this plan because its not a crazy radical diet than when I decided to stop, I would go back to my normal eating habits. I didn't want to cut out carbs only to eat a loaf of bread when I couldn't stand it any longer. With Weight Watchers, I could eat what I want but in moderation.

So, on April 11st I took the finanicial plunge and joined Weight Watchers. To this day, I have lost about 13 pounds. It has been relatively easy, although, I know I could do better. I could probably lose more weight if I tried a little harder but I am happy with my progress. I am happy that there is any progress at all. I have also noticed that I have changed my eating habits. I don't snack as much, I get full sooner, and I don't eat as much candy, although I do sneak some! I eat more fruits and vegetables, after all they are free foods!

It has been two months now. I hope that I can keep it up. I am not really sure what I want my goal to be. I spoke to my doctor about it, she said "a healthier lifestyle" but she said that for my height I should be 150 pounds. I don't know that I will ever get done that low. For now, I'd be happy to be a size that you can buy in a regular store without having to go to the "plus" or "woman's" section. Simple. Maybe.

I am going to try to write here about my journey. So after 2 months, I am officially down 12.8 pounds and several inches and I feel good!

Forks over Knives

So I recently watched a documentary called "Forks over Knives." It was about the benefits of eating a whole food, plant based diet. The doctors in the documentary did studies were they reversed diabetes, heart disease, and cancer just by placing patients on whole food, plant based diets. So, I decided that I did not want to be a vegetarian but what I could was cut down on the amount of animal products I consume. My plan is to eat one meat meal a day and do a completely meatless day every week. So I wanted to write about it.

Day 1: I had planned out my eating for the day so it went really well. I was determined. I ate eat cereal with almond milk for breakfast with some craisins. For lunch I had some salad with olives and a little bit of cheese and some rolls. For dinner I had a bean and cheese burrito with some chips. I was not feeling well but it went well. Oh I went to a dessert social at church, so I had some desserts and a meatball there.

Day 2: This day was a little harder, I did not plan so well. I had a waffle for breakfast and for lunch I did not feel like eating salad but I ended up going to see my sister so I walked to Taco Bell and I had a Cantina Bowl. It had in it lettuce, rice, black beans, and corn salsa. I opted for no pico de gallo because I do not care for onions. It was really good and filling. It came with chips and guacamole. I also tasted some of Vernon's cheese roll up. I am going to Disneyland for dinner so I will eat something with meat there.

I have learned that I need to plan ahead and have more foods on hand that will fit into this new pattern.

Wish me luck!

Check in.

So, I have not posted in a long time so here is what has been going on. My business: My business is well it is still there. I am working on some projects right now. Trying to put together a concert to benefit Japan's Earthquake Relief and I am also helping some friends fundraise for a mission trip to Africa. Along with the Sue Phillips Memorial Fundraiser. Family life. My sister got married (Finally) in February. My best friend, Cassie came down to visit for the wedding. That was awesome although it was a busy week. We managed a trip to Disneyland so that rocked. I got to hang out with Baylee. It is hard being away from them. I miss them terribly. Cassie is pregnant with her second child now, due in September during walk weekend. My sister is also pregnant she is due in November. Work: I have been working ALOT. Which is good for my bank account. I hate it though. I keep looking for something else but there is nothing out there. So I will grin and bear it. I am at work right now. I have been playing games on the computer, chatting and writing this, while the students watch a movie. Not even an academic movie either. Job's Daughters: I joined the membership committee and have been visiting bethels in my area. I have been all over from Burbank, El Segundo, Lancaster, Lomita, Tujunga, Santa Monica and Manhattan Beach. Along with working with my own bethel. Personal Life: I am doing very well right now. Anxiety is in check and I have not had any issues in a while. I am dating someone. I guess dating is the right word. lol. He is very nice and respectful and treats me well. And it makes things more interesting. It is exciting, I am always thinking of new things we can do together. I have been so busy though, I have not had much time for my friends. and I miss them! Well that is what has been going on. What is coming up? Nice of you to ask...Spring Break is next week. I plan on going to the Museum of Tolerance, the Skirball Center and to the Getty Villa. Today in History: FDR died, 1945 First man in space, 1961 First space shuttle launch, 1981

another poem

Forget

You greeted me with a smile

And then we walked down the aisle

We laughed and preceded to flirt

Then you went home to the desert dirt

We did not speak for a long time

Then you asked me to visit and I said fine

I drove out to the desert's sun

For a few days of fun

I wanted it to be more

But you, you wanted a whore

I did not understand

I went home to the sand

I waited for your call

You said you would visit, after all

It was all a lie

I listened with a sigh,

When I heard, I told you so

We told you not to go.

I often think about you

When forgetting you is what I need to do.

poem

Not to be
You told me I would make a difference.
My life has not been the same since.
You called me beautiful.
And touched my soul.
You really saw me.
But it was not to be.

You asked me every week.
Your approval I did seek.
Your touch gave me a thrill
A void in my heart you did fill.
You really saw me.
But it was not to be.

We talked about travel.
There was no bull.
We talked about forever.
Our bond would not sever
We were sure.
Each other we would cure.
You really saw me.
But it was not to be.

It was all a secret.
I struggled to keep it.
My love for you is clear.
We were riddled with fear.
Friendships would end.
Jealous, they would have been.
It they knew, you really saw me.
But it was not to be.
I love you baby,
Too bad we weren't meant to be, maybe

What is it like to Crew?

So, this past weekend I crewed at the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer is a 39.3 2-day walk to raise awareness and funds for research for Breast Cancer. My sister walked the year my mom died in a 3 day 60 mile walk, that eventually became this walk. My sister walked for about 5 years. My dad decided to walk with her in 2005 and I decided to crew. I do not believe that I could walk that many miles without hurting myself. The first year that I crewed, I was on the Information Services team. This was not enough for me. Basically this team gives out information, I was bored. The next year I was on the Traffic and Security Team. I felt cool. I got a walkie talkie and we controlled all the traffic in and out of camp. Maybe I should back up and explain some more about the walk. The walk officially begins Friday night at Event Eve. This is where we check in, turn in money and the crew meets for final instructions. The next morning there is Opening Ceremonies (which I got to see for the first time this year). They stretch with the walkers and have some speakers. Then the walk begins. The walkers walk 26.2 miles on the first day. Then they get to camp, Wellness Village. Wellness Village is a city. There are tents for sleeping, sponsors tents (shopping and whatnot), food, medical services, showers, entertainment and fellowship. Visitors are allowed until a certain time. Then it is lights out and everyone (or most everyone) sleeps in tents. They wake the next morning, shower, eat a yummy breakfast and continue on the walk for another 13.1 miles. Then they arrive at Closing Ceremonies, more speakers and crying.

Back to what I was saying, after Traffic and Security, I was excited to crew again. I loved that team and would have happily returned. BUT, I was asked to be a Team Leader. What is a team leader you may ask? A team leader is in charge of a crew team. We have to attend extra meetings throughout the year and we are the go to person. So, now I was in charge of Quick Stop D, a stop on the route! WAIT! I have never been on the route before! And now I am in charge! You must be crazy, Kelley! We made it through, I learned what to do and asked a lot of questions. My team also volunteered to work at the Download Lot on Day 2, since our stop was so far into the walk that we were not needed on the secon

d day. I will get back to Download Lot later.

So, let me explain to you my past weekend's experiences. So you can get an idea of what it is like to crew and to be a crew team leader.

The work really never stops. After last year's event, we had a final team leader meeting, a debrief. A few months after that monthly team leader meetings begin for this event.

Friday, I had to be at Event Eve early, because I have to check in before the 4pm Team Leader meeting. So we arrived in Santa Barbara about noon. We checked in to hotel and explored the area for a bit. I got to the Event Eve location about 330, checked in and rushed off to the Team Leader, not before I picked up my Event cell phone and walkie talkie and tshirts. Then we had our Team Leader meeting at 4pm, an all Crew meetin

g at 5pm and individual team meetings at 6pm. We finished up about 7pm. Then we rushed off to dinner and to bed! We had to leave the hotel at 530am!

Saturday, I arrived at Opening Ceremonies, grabbed some breakfast, and met up with my team. We got to stay and watch Opening Ceremonies for a bit and then we had to walk to the Upload Lot to pick up our event car and Cargo Van. We drove to our stop and set up. We had to set up 2 pop up tents, 6 tables, several chairs and our decorations. We had to wait for the water and ice to be delivered and then we set up our gatorade and water for the walkers. Once the walkers began arriving at our stop (around 1130am) we were helping them until 3pm. Then we had to clean up our spot, make sure there was not trash left behind and we were out of stop by 330pm. We drove to Wellness Village and checked in. There we w

ere given a job until 6pm. We had dinner then and set up our tents to sleep in. I had a Team Leader meeting at 8pm. After that I went to bed. I was exhausted!

Sunday, we had to be up and ready to go by 7am. So, I got up early, showered in a truck, took down my tent and my dad's and ate breakfast. We were then assigned to cheer for walkers as they were leaving camp. After that, we helped take down the tables and chairs in the dining tent, picked up our lunches and were off to the Download Lot. We volunteered to work there for the 3rd year. The Download Lot is just that, a lot. All the event vehicles return to this lot to unload all the event supplies. This includes but is not limited to: trash, water, snacks, gatorade and water coolers, ice chests, tables, chairs, signage, bins of supplies (toilet paper, gloves, counter clickers, ice scoops, etc), and the vehicle itself. We were in charge of facilitating this. We told the people were to park, where to put their stuff and we helpe

d to clean the stuff and organize it. We worked here for several hours without taking a break. Finally, it was time to go. Most people could take a shuttle to Closing Ceremonies but we decided it would be better to drive our own car, so we had to walk to our car and then drive to Closing Ceremonies.

Why would someone chose to Crew?

Crewing is rewarding, we are the backbone of the event. Of course, the event could not take place without walkers, but it could not take place without crew members either. We work hard to support the walkers in any way that they need it. There are a lot of crew teams: Medical, Traffic, Security, Rest Stops, Quick Stops, Bus Liasons, Youth Crew, Moto Safety, Signage Teams, Water and Ice Teams, Bike Teams, Pack up, Set up, L

unch, Sweep, just to name a few. I crew because I am not in shape to walk. I crew in memory and honor of my mom. I crew so my nieces do not have to go through the loss that I have had to deal with.

I hope that this has been informational for you. If you are interested, you can sign up now to Crew next year in Santa Barbara at www.avonwalk.org

My Team with Dave, the Download Lot Master and Amazing Forklift Driver/Dancer!

A Poem.

Three Years Ago Today

Three years ago today
My life changed.
I was assaulted.
I was forced to realize it was not the first time.
I lost control of my life.

I have been
Fight to regain control.
Feeling guilty.
Fighting the guilt.
Fighting, Drowning, Struggling.

Since.

Three years ago today.